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Phoenix Rising Life Coaching




Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life © A.J. Mahari March 2010

Change Your Life - Change Your Thoughts Ebook by A.J. Mahari

Punishment and Revenge in BPD Ebook by A.J. Mahari © A.J. Mahari 2010

Punishment and Revenge in BPD Ebook by A.J. Mahari

Full Circle - Lessons For Non Borderlines Ebook by A.J. Mahari © A.J. Mahari 2007

Full Circle - Lessons For Non Borderlines Ebook by A.J. Mahari

The Power of Gratitude - Healing - Recovery - Wellness and Getting Unstuck © A.J. Mahari December 2010

The Power of Gratitude Ebook by A.J. Mahari

Quest For Self - Building Conscious Self Awareness - Ebook/Coaching Guide/Workbook and Audio © A.J. Mahari January 2011

Quest For Self - Building Conscious Self Awareness Ebook and Audio by A.J. Mahari



Projection is a central defense mechanism utilized by the borderline false self - a defense mechanism that keeps those with Borderline Personality Disorder emotionally isolated from others. Borderlines project onto others because they do not have a known self or a sense of any known self that can act as a container for their own emotions.



Purchase all 3 of ebooks for NON BORDERLINES packaged together with or without audio.

Non Borderlines - You can purchase 6 ebooks packaged together with or without audio.

Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase A.J. Mahari's 3 "Core Wound of Abandonment" series ebooks packaged together with or without audio.

Audio Programs on BPD for Borderlines and Non Borderlines by A.J. Mahari sold separately or packaged together with Mahari's Ebooks.





Projection



A very prevalent and damaging aspect of Borderline Personality Disorder is projection. It can also be one of the most difficult defense mechanisms to recognize, to own and to become aware enough about as to be able to change the associated projected thinking from a focus on "other" to realizing what you are actually feeling yourself.

"In projection, one's own unacceptable feelings are attributed to someone else. A boy who dislikes his father, for instance, may feel anxious about disliking someone he depends on. So he may project his feelings onto his father, concluding that 'he hates me.' A person who has uncomfortable sexual feelings about members of a different ethnic group may project this discomfort onto them, saying, 'those people are dirty-minded and oversexed.'" (Pg 389 -"Psychology" Second Edition by Wade & Tavris)

"If you are borderline, you most likely have powerful effects on other people's feelings and behavior. Your tumultuous emotions and dramatic, often provocative behaviors are sure to elicit strong reactions in others. Your environment often becomes a theatre for playing out inner conflicts. Other people may become screens onto which you project feelings as if you are thinking, 'someone here is angry.' It can't be me, so it must be you.'

Sometimes the other people in your world fit into the roles that you have scripted for them. They may even feel the projected emotions. You may sit back and watch your feelings being played out safely outside of yourself. You may vicariously enjoy watching others act out your fantasies, identifying with them at a distance." (Pg 16 "Lost In The Mirror" by Dr. Richard A. Moskovitz)

When we shift our feelings from within to without, from self to other we are using a defense mechanism that essentially enables us to abdicate responsibility for what it is that we really feel. Doing this then separates us from our own very basic emotions. Being separated from our basic feelings also separates us from having the tools to meet our own needs.


Purchase all 3 of ebooks for NON BORDERLINES packaged together with or without audio.

Non Borderlines - You can purchase 6 ebooks packaged together with or without audio.

Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase A.J. Mahari's 3 "Core Wound of Abandonment" series ebooks packaged together with or without audio.

Audio Programs on BPD for Borderlines and Non Borderlines by A.J. Mahari sold separately or packaged together with Mahari's Ebooks.


Emotional defenses, such as projection, protect us from experiencing the pain and uncomfortable feelings like guilt, shame, and rage. The borderline defenses of projection, projective identification and splitting enable the borderline to put and maintain distance between him/herself and the rest of the world in which lasting bonds and congruent relational ties are formed. These defenses are both a protection from and a barrier to intimacy.

Most borderlines (until they reach a certain point of healing) often are not consciously aware of their projections. When they look at you and say you did this or that and it's all your fault when in fact it has all to do with what the borderline has done, said or felt a borderline does not see this. They will fight you every step of the way, convinced that they are right and you are wrong. The right, wrong, good, bad black and white of splitting follows projection closely.

In order to begin to recognize one's projections, each borderline must address his/her feelings. It means looking inside instead of looking outside to understand oneself.

Projection is a defense mechanism used often by borderlines to shift personal responsibility. It can often begin in childhood when a needed and relied upon parent is "hated" by the borderline. Hate or love/hate is often the environment from which projection is born.

If you can identify what you feel and why and own it, feel it and hold it...then soothe yourself, and take care of yourself you will be in a position to catch your own projections. Anything less than that and you will continue to give away your personal power to others. This increases an already intolerable level of vulnerability for the borderline.

The other key to learning to recognize and catch one's own projections has all to do with learning how to relate. When one has BPD one's relational ability/skill is severely impaired. It takes the painful trial and error of both being open to looking at your own feelings and being vulnerable enough to let others begin to know you in a consistent, and authentic way.

© Ms. A.J. Mahari - August 16, 1999



Purchase all 3 of ebooks for NON BORDERLINES packaged together with or without audio.

Non Borderlines - You can purchase 6 ebooks packaged together with or without audio.

Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase A.J. Mahari's 3 "Core Wound of Abandonment" series ebooks packaged together with or without audio.

Audio Programs on BPD for Borderlines and Non Borderlines by A.J. Mahari sold separately or packaged together with Mahari's Ebooks.





BPD Coach A.J. Mahari



Phoenix Rising Life Coaching

BPD - Feeling Alone



The Legacy of Abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder © A.J. Mahari 2006

The Legacy of Abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder

The Abandoned Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder © A.J. Mahari 2006

The Abandoned Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder

Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance for Non Borderlines © A.J. Mahari 2006

The Lost Self in BPD



Break Free From the BPD Maze - Recovery For Non Borderlines Audio Program © A.J. Mahari 2006

The Lost Self in BPD

5 Bundle Set Ebooks - Core Wound In BPD © A.J. Mahari 2006

5 Bundle Set Ebooks - Core Wound In BPD

Adult Child of BPD Mother in Search For Closure Audio © A.J. Mahari 2006



A.J. Mahariís Thought Changing Affirmations 5 Volume Set © A.J. Mahari 2006

The Lost Self in BPD